Joyless or Joyful

Just Suck It Up and Get Over It!

Wherever—and however—you spend your childhood and adult life plays a major role in how generational trauma develops. In families where emotions are dismissed or discouraged, feelings often get buried. Those buried feelings don’t disappear; they resurface later as repressed memories, anxiety, depression, or emotional pain that cuts deeper than we expect.

That has been true for me. There have been many moments in my life that cut straight to the core. Some were the result of my own self-inflicted stupidity; others came from the people around me. All of them left marks.

In 2016, at the age of 41, I finally had the breakdown I so richly deserved. I sat in an exam room, balled up and crying uncontrollably, and unloaded years of unhealed trauma onto a doctor. And she listened. No judgment. No lectures. No “just suck it up and get over it.”

The year before, I had started working for a wonderful company that specializes in mental health support. I was learning—quickly—what mental health actually looked like and felt like. I realized I could not hold it in any longer.

Since then, I’ve been consistent with therapy for depression and anxiety. My therapist is wonderful. Telehealth is a blessing. I take medication daily. My husband lovingly calls them my “coo-coo pills,” and he makes absolutely sure I never run out. That’s either true love… or survival on his part. I’m not sure which.

One of the most unfortunate consequences of ignored mental health is how trauma continues through generations. Unhealed trauma doesn’t just affect one person—it echoes through families. And “suck it up and get over it” is not, and never has been, the solution.

Along this journey, I’ve read God’s Word more deeply and come to understand that faith truly can move barriers and heal the broken. Genesis 3 reminds us that mental and physical anguish entered through the fall of humanity. Psalm 34:18 tells us the Lord is close to the brokenhearted. Philippians 4:6–7 urges us not to be anxious. Romans 8:28 assures us that God works all things for good. James 1:2–4 reminds us that trials develop perseverance. And James 5:14 and Galatians 6:2 call us to share our struggles and carry one another’s burdens.

So please—take that broom you’ve been sweeping things under and throw it away.

Healing begins when we stop pretending we’re fine.