Joyless or Joyful

Have you ever been criticized for missing significant events in your children’s lives? Or whispered about for not being present at every milestone in your grandchildren’s lives? I’ve learned it’s far more common than most people are willing to admit.

Somehow, you become the villain—the albatross living under the bridge, just waiting to snatch up children. The reasons don’t matter. One thing is always certain: it’s your fault. Always.

Troops are rallied. Sides are chosen. And children become pawns in adult warfare.

So what do you do?

You move on.
You let people live in the fantasy world where they write whatever narrative they choose about you. They sing praises to God on Sunday while spreading hypocritical rhetoric about how “family is everything.” Not all family—just the handpicked ones.

The ones allowed to remain in the inner circle are usually the “yes” people. The compliant ones. The ones who bow to the commands of the self-appointed Holy and Just.

If this resonates with you—if you are the one being excluded, uninvited, or quietly erased—hear this: it is okay. Or at least, it will be.

You do not have to conform to unreasonable demands.
You do not have to be the only one reaching out.
You do not have to beg for a place in the lives of people who show little concern for your feelings.

If, for whatever reason, you find yourself on the Island of Misfits—I welcome you.

You are not alone.

Rudolph found friends there, and so will you.

Let go of those who bring no joy into your life or drain every ounce of your energy. Trust that God knows exactly what He is doing—and He knows what is coming.

Guard your heart.
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” — Proverbs 4:23

And remember:
Pruning is painful, but it is purposeful.
John 15:2