Joyless or Joyful

My husband and I have what most would call a dark humor dynamic. For example, he recently had a hospital stay after falling on the ice. He ignored my advice not to walk down the driveway and wore the slickest shoes he owns. The result? A cracked sternum.

He told the nurses that I pushed him.

I have a witness. I was in the house.
The looks I got from the staff were… spicy, until they realized sarcasm is our love language.

He recently told me, “My voice is a voice of authority, and you will listen when I speak.”
Mind you, I was holding a wooden spoon and cooking with hot grease.
I rolled my eyes.

Then he followed it up with, “I married you because you were submissive.”
We both hollered laughing.

He attends a men’s Bible study when he isn’t working late. I lovingly refer to it as The He-Man Woman Hater’s Club.
If you recognize that reference, welcome to the seasoned saints club. If not—Google it.

I’m not sure what they discuss in that group, but whatever he’s learning isn’t yielding fruit in my direction.

Our close friends and family get our dynamic. Others just stare at us like we’re emotionally unsafe to observe.

I’m pretty sure our pastor cringes when I speak because you truly never know what’s coming out of my mouth. But we kid around, laugh, and love each other well.

One big misconception about marriage is that it’s a perfect two-way street. Sometimes we work together. Sometimes we don’t—and that’s okay.
Eventually, he comes around and does it my way.
Just kidding.
Mostly.

There’s also this idea that Christians are supposed to be wound tighter than Dick’s hatband and stuck in the mud. That couldn’t be further from the truth.

What gets us through is our circle.
Who you walk with matters.

With the world spinning out of control, I feel grounded. I’m rooted in faith, and my people are the water that keeps me growing. They’re my watering cans.

You may feel lost. You may feel surrounded by fire, like the gasoline just won’t stop pouring.
Pause. Grab your watering cans. Let your people help fight the fire. Then take a breath and ask what started it in the first place.

The three went into the fire, but they noticed four.
That fourth? The Holy Spirit.

Daniel 3:16–28
“If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace…”

Keep good company:

“Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.” – Proverbs 13:20

Build each other up:

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up…” – Ephesians 4:29

Use your love language.
Laugh loud.
Be sarcastic without being cruel.
And keep your watering cans close.